There are only two kinds of relationships in the world: Transactional and Non-Transactional.
When I say “relationship,” I mean every kind: friends, spouse, siblings, professional, parental, guru, even pets.
A Non-Transactional relationship is when someone stands by you even when they gain nothing from you. They do not measure your worth by your usefulness. They stay because the bond matters, beyond everything.
A Transactional relationship is different. People stay while there is value, access or benefit. When the benefit ends or becomes inaccessible, they leave or turn cold. And when we expect non-transactional loyalty from someone who lives transactionally, we often label them as “Bad.”
But the truth is simpler: They’re not bad. They’re just transactional. That is their way of living, by choice.
There is nothing inherently wrong with being transactional. It can be practical, honest and fair, unless it is disguised as unconditional care or love. What hurts is calling something “connection” when it was only an exchange.
Look honestly at the relationship you are offering and at the one being offered to you.
See it as it is, not as you wished it to be. That clarity is the kindness. To them and to yourself.
— SCD Balaji
